3. A Beacon of Light: My journey with PMDD

Continue the inspiring story of overcoming PMDD. In this third installment, discover how finding a supportive community and exploring alternative therapies became a beacon of light in the darkness. Learn about the power of connection and the importance of self-care in managing a chronic condition.

PMDDHORMONES

10/13/20249 min read

And then I found Wendy!

After declaring on the (3rd June) that I was going to heal both these things as naturally and holistically as possible. Read that post here, I included a heap of things that I implemented early on that helped point me in the right direction.

I googled “I cured my endo” to see if anyone had written about this.

Nothing! I couldnt find anything, except that its incurable even WHO says so.

Luckily, I don’t believe everything I read…

I continued searching, and found Wendy… A shiney light guiding the path to healing.

“I used to be so SUPER sensitive to the world, my environment and the people around me.

Many of my family and friends said there was something wrong with me. That I was too sensitive.

I could walk into a room and pick up on the negative energy of anyone and tap into their sadness or anger and sometimes I felt so overwhelmed I wanted to hide away from everyone and everything.

So I developed an ability to ignore and switch off. I would default into a deep busyness and people pleasing activities. I was surround by toxic relationships which took from me but gave nothing back.

All of this was tough on my mind and body. I was severly depressed and on multiple occassions I contemplated whether it was worth carrying on.

I was chronically worn down both emotionally and physically and as I got older the effects started to show through. My emotional distress would ultimately contribute signicicantly to my severe physical illnesses.

And, of course the particular part of my journey that I found most challenging was addressing the final two Poisons; People and Past. It tends to be the most challenging component for all women I work with too.

Dealing with the first three Poisons for me was relatively 'easy'. It made logical sense that what I ate, put on my body and had in my environment could impact my health.

But the idea that emotions, toxic relationships and past trauma could impact my health seemed preposterous and slightly condescending. I mistakenly made the assumption that by embracing these ideas, I was saying that it was all in my head.”

-Wendy, Laidlaw Quoted from her website.

Reading this, it feels like reading my own thoughts, the only difference being my depressivness comes and goes each month, and I already knew and believed emotions, toxic relationships and past traumas do impact our health.

At this point I had still yet to see my Doctor, and was going at this from every angle.

Learning and treating these symptoms I was experincing like I may have PMDD and Endo.

So of course I purchased Wendys audio book and listened to it as fast as I could.

https://www.healendometriosisnaturally.com/begin_your_endoboss_journey

I believe that implementing the steps in her book will be beneficial to anyone experiencing cycle related issues. Especially endo.

As I have said, I believe the body naturally wants to heal, we just need to give it what it needs.

Wendy says “Ultimately, I identified that the primary underlying causes of my endometriosis were inflammation and hormonal imbalance. From there I realised that those factors and my other conditions were being perpetuated by a variety of toxins in my environment that I came to categorise as the 'Five Poisons' or the '5 Ps':”

• Produce (food, etc.)

• Products (cosmetics, etc.)

• Property (asbestos, etc.)

• People (abusive relationships, etc.)

• Past (trauma, etc.)

- From Wendys Website

https://www.wendyklaidlaw.com/

I have touched on these sort of things in this series, and believe they are more important than we realize or are lead to believe.

Wendys story is mindblowing, and filled me with so much hope that no matter what symptoms I'm experiencing or diagnosis I get I will be able to heal.

And I want that, for anyone who is experiencing anything related to your hormones and cycle.

My Journey with PMDD – Part 3

I then came across this interesting Article on the Cut, that reminded me of what Wendy had said in the above quote from her website, about being super sensitive to the world.

Scientists Think They’ve Figured Out What Causes Severe PMS (2017)

https://www.thecut.com/2017/01/scientists-may-have-figured-out-what-causes-pmdd.html

If premenstrual syndrome is a little annoying, them premenstrual dysphoric disorder is true hell on earth. PMDD affects 2 to 5 percent of reproductive-age women with symptoms that mimic depression and anxiety, like debilitating sadness, hopelessness, and irritability in addition to physical issues like bloating and fatigue. But, frustratingly, women with PMDD have the same hormone levels of women with the more common PMS even though they react differently.

Researchers at the National Institutes of Health wanted to see if there was something different going on at a cellular level. For a study published in the journal Molecular Psychiatry, they suppressed then added back the hormones estrogen and progesterone in women with PMDD and a control group of women. When they “turned off” these hormones, the women with PMDD saw their symptoms disappear only to re-emerge when the hormones were added back. The control group had no change. This confirmed that women with PMDD are more sensitive to the hormones.

Then they looked at white blood cells from both groups since they express many of the same genes as brain cells. The researchers found a large gene complex where genes expressed differently in women with PMDD compared to the control group. Specifically, the differences were found in a complex that determines how cells respond to the environment, including sex hormones and stressors. Some of the genes were over-expressed and others were under-expressed in PMDD patients; exposure to estrogen and progesterone also altered their gene expression. This dysregulated cellular response could be why women with PMDD are so sensitive to the hormones.

As lead researcher David Goldman, M.D., said in a release “This is a big moment for women’s health, because it establishes that women with PMDD have an intrinsic difference in their molecular apparatus for response to sex hormones — not just emotional behaviors they should be able to voluntarily control.” They’re also hopeful that the finding will lead to improved treatments for PMDD but that will take many more studies.

~The Cut ~

Maybe those of us experiencing PMDD feel things differently, and that is reflected in our physical…

______________________

June 12. From my Diary...

Maybe it’s the pivotal podcast, or the packing, or my now flooding feelings, time will tell.

Imagine, your comfiest underwear feeling too tight.

Pre-empting your outfits based on how you may feel, in an hour, day week or month.

Or worried how you will feel and look for your best friends wedding 9 months ahead, you were excited and so full of love for her, but worried…

Not because you will be pregnant. But you will have a high chance someone will ask you, because of your tummy.

I have, except for my bleed time has minimal pain, while researching realised I have so many symptoms but not the pains, in the horrible ways others have. I send them so much love, while also being so grateful.

—-----

June 24. From my diary…

I don’t care to look after my hair

Or my plants

My relationship or self

Or business

My beloved selfcare doesn’t even register

Everything is too much

I know my thoughts aren’t real, my hormones are messing them up

But it’s so hard to fight them constantly

This cycle has been better, than last.

I hope thanks to all the supplements etc I have been taking.

Mentally this week has been rough, but not as rough as the same week last cycle

Saturday was almost all spent in bed with mild cramps and a very sore back, I could have slept all day and I nearly did. And still slept all night.

Sunday was better

I got my period Sunday night, I couldn’t sleep and when I finally did woke up early Monday morning with cramps that ibuprofen, magnesium and black seed soothed and woke up in the morning with no pain.

Just depressive thoughts and no motivation to even get out of bed.

One of the hardest parts for me is that nothing seems to matter.

Sitting in the sunshine on Sunday, tanning my legs on our front porch, on the most perfect winter day in our cozy new home.

I said to Sam, I dreamed of this, this life, living back in Queensland. With the love of my life for so long.

And I’m aware of that, but I feel nothing, except mild temporary contentment at best

I can’t even bring myself to work on my business, or think of life admin.

Even though I know it’s detrimental and all I want when I’m feeling better

How am I meant to build my dream life, relationship and business, if I can’t fix this.

Every month is 3 steps forward 4 steps back

______________________

June 25- From my Diary...

And it’s like I’m me again…

Feeling all sorts of flat, but I feel...

Like me, mentally.

I took Sam to the airport today, my first time not going to work with him since we have been together.

And I just want to love on him. Because as hard as this all is for me, he also has to deal with me, and I can tell you, it’s not fun.

I feel like I am two different people, and I know it feels for him like I’m two different people, one of them he did not sign up for.

I started Zetox today.

There are lots of good reviews about periods and people with endo having amazing results so I’m hopeful things will be even better next month.

Incurable just means it’s only curable from within. So that’s what I’m doing.

______________________

In my research I had come across Korganika and ordered their fantastic 4 pack.

"Cover all bases with The Fantastic Four!"

"Let them take care of your hormones, gut health, weight issues, sleep and energy levels, hair loss, skin disorders, libido, heavy metal and mould issues, and much more!"

If even some of those claims are true, I’m here for it.

I had already started taking black seed oil at the start of all this, and jumped straight into the Zetox, Alien Tears (chlorophyll) and Onyx and switched to their black seed.

I knew a detox would help, especially with the mouldy rooms at work, and what ever else my body has been exposed to. And I am all about getting as many vitamins from as close to nature as possible.

I did have quite the detox at the start, but it was worth it knowing I was getting rid of things that aren't helping my body.

Im still taking them now, and will continue to as I feel the benefits and my cycles and hormones have been getting better and better.

They have loads of info on their website, and they are super helpful via customer service.

#notsponsered Just a company and prodcuts that I really like and have helped me.

______________________

1 July - from my diary

Getting closer to my appointment,

I have been reflecting on this condition, and how and where it may have been effecting in the past.

I have had depressed times in my life, but they always felt more circumstantial than physical.

Was this playing a part too?

And what has caused it to become so strong in the past year, and even more so the past 6 months

I can pinpoint without even looking at my cycle tracking app when it really came up strong.

And if I can do that, does that mean I can heal and get back to a point when it wasn’t as bad naturally and with minimal medical intervention

And can I get a diagnosis for endo or not without surgery?

______________________

It feels vulnerable sharing these notes directly from my diary app. When I wrote them, I wasn't sure they would ever make it out into the world...

Growth and learning through this experience, I am feeling more me, stronger and more resilient. I've learned to appreciate the good and embrace and learn from the harder.

I'm grateful for the support I've received and the progress I've made. Sharing my story is a way of giving back to the community. I believe we all rise together, and by healing and sharing we show others the way.

If this has spoken to you in anyway, please reach out. It would mean the world to me, and if you know someone who this may help, please share it with them.

Ps.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or symptoms related to your cycle or hormones, please reach out. While I am no medical professional, I am here to support you, and can share things I have found that have helped me so much in just a few short months.